Ledge Lessons

Published April 28, 2010 at 9:51 p.m.
...We love you, stressed-out college kids! So relax, and remember how good you have it...
As advocates of higher education and living as long as medically possible, we were sad to read that, according to new-media-powerhouse Web site the Daily Beast, Greater Boston is home to not one but five of the most stressful colleges in the United States.

As advocates of higher education and living as long as medically possible, we were sad to read that, according to new-media-powerhouse Web site the Daily Beast, Greater Boston is home to not one but five of the most stressful colleges in the United States. Triggered by six suicides at Cornell so far this year, the site crunched data to reveal where problems may lie, and deemed that Brandeis (no. 31), Boston College (no. 25), Tufts (no. 21), Harvard (no. 5), and MIT (no. 3) posed the biggest mental-health concerns in our back yard. Good samaritans that we are, and considering how many bridges there are around here, we’ve written scripts for anyone who may have to talk students off the ledge at Greater Boston’s most demanding institutions. (Best if used in combination with heavy anti-depressants.)

For Crimsons (Harvard)
You probably already know this, but you’re going to be rich one day. Even if you’re a scholarship kid whose peer persecution has been detailed in a heart-wrenching Boston Globe story, unless you decide to do something meaningful and pursue philanthropic avenues, there is an unfulfilling yet highly profitable career in finance or venture capital awaiting you. Even now you have all sorts of reasons to keep keeping on — why slit your wrists when the likes of Colin Powell and MC Hammer regularly swing by to see you? And don’t you find comfort in knowing that, even if you’re tragically unfunny, you can get a gig at the Lampoon and go on to change the course of modern comedy? Rumor has it that Mr. Bartley’s wants to name a burger after you, too.

Read more


Back | Read more at Boston Phoenix